Launching and leading a startup is often portrayed as an exhilarating adventure, peppered with late nights, bold ideas, long coffee shop brainstorming sessions, a driven team, and the intoxicating desire to make a difference, and of course, to chart one’s course for personal and professional success.
While all these moments exist and passion, creativity, exhilaration are very much part of the journey, we should be careful not to glorify founder success to the point where we ignore our own vulnerabilities and needs. I find in my clinical experience, that beneath the surface, many founders quietly feel emotionally burdened and weary at different points in this journey. The very qualities that fuel their success, such as persistence, stoicism, self-reliance, can also become their Achilles heel when it comes to their own mental health, if left unchecked.
Founders Expect Themselves to be Naturally Resilient
In the startup world today, resilience, often mistakenly viewed as grit or simply having unwavering resolve, seems to be worn almost like armour. Founders often hold themselves to the belief that no matter the obstacle, be it funding setbacks, hiring crises, investor pressure, they should simply “push through” because that’s the name of the game.
This mindset if held too rigidly, can mask the early signs of emotional exhaustion, anxiety, and depression. I often start my conversations on resilience to ask founders, “What is the cost of success, that you have been willing to endure when it comes to your own health and emotional well-being?” The answers, as you can imagine, are revealing to founders, from sacrificing sleep, relationships, or even very basic self-care.
Signs such as constant fatigue, irritability, reduced motivation, difficulty concentrating, or feeling detached from one’s own work should be seen as a time to pause and understand what is going on in the mind and the body. These aren’t indicators of weakness; but could be warning signs of burnout and warrant our deep care and attention. It is important that we label and recognise our experience accurately, and lead from a space of awareness and understanding.
Many founders may unconsciously adopt a cultural narrative where mental health is framed as a test of strength and endurance versus weakness. In this view, struggling emotionally could mean failing as a leader. Stoicism or the ability to “stay strong no matter what” is prized. But unchecked, this stoicism can reveal a slow erosion of wellbeing.
In reality, accurate terms like stress, burnout, and recovery are far more helpful than labels like weak vs. strong. They validate that our nervous system has limits, and that replenishment is very much a part of sustainable leadership.
Agility In The Storm Of Struggle
Harvard psychologist Susan David uses the term “emotional agility” to describe the ability to notice, label, and flexibly respond to emotions. For startup founders, this skill is not optional, but I see it as foundational to the set of skills they bring to the table.
Startups demand relentless adaptation. The pace can feel like a sink-or-swim environment, where pressure never lets up. But resilience doesn’t mean flailing just to stay afloat. It’s about knowing which tools and strategies keep you above the surface in a steady, focused, and conserving energy kind of way, instead of exhausting yourself by struggling silently beneath the waterline.
Leaders who can recognize their stress signals and their struggles, be it personal or professional, can develop the ability to name difficult emotions, and choose responses deliberately (rather than reactively) and are more likely to guide their teams with clarity and steadiness.
Particularly in high-pressure moments, a funding pitch, a crisis with a key client, or sudden layoffs, our brain’s threat system can narrow focus, increase defensiveness, and reduce perspective-taking as a survival response. Psychological flexibility helps reduce this by activating reflective systems that support composure, empathy, openness, and thoughtful decision-making.
What Founders Can Do For Their Well-Being
The first step is recognition. Emotional exhaustion is not a personal failing; it is a systemic risk factor in high-demand environments. Here are some practices to consider:
- Notice Early Signs – irritability, fatigue, cynicism, reduced creativity.
- Normalize Care – reframing self-care as a leadership duty, rather than weakness or failure, a passing phase, or simply an inconvenience. Being able and willing to see and listen to your own needs, is a key part of how we evolve psychologically.
- Invest In Recovery – reappraisal of expectations, viewing restful sleep as essential, and reflective practices to calm the nervous system are sustainable investments.
- Seek Reflective Spaces – coaching, therapy, mentorship, or structured peer groups to process emotions and lead from a space of consciousness.
The startup journey will always have more than its share of moments of pressure and uncertainty. But emotional exhaustion need not be the hidden cost of leadership. Founders who integrate emotional agility, realistic narratives about resilience, and conscious self-care not only preserve their own wellbeing but also model a healthier culture for their teams.
Resilience is not the absence of struggle. It is the willingness to accept and normalise setbacks and struggle, recover, recalibrate, and return with wholeness and clarity from a space of understanding and recognition of one’s needs.